Sound of Maosic, Far East Side Story, The Importance of Being Communist, CabaRED…

…welp that was embarrassing. In addition to puns, one of my great
fondnesses in life is zee THEATRE, specifically musicals, arguably
“the purest form of art.” What could be better than watching grown men
and women flying around in costume, spontaneously bursting into song
when the doldrums of dialogue can no longer support the unbridled SEAS
of emotion?? NOTHING THAT’S WHAT.

Unfortunately, like puns, I often find my enthusiasm for musicals is
not widely shared among my friends. This has led to many nights spent
alone watching my PBS DVD of Company. It’s okay, sometimes while I’m watching it, in the silence of my loneliness, I come up with some
great new puns.

BUT WHATEVER HATERS.

Anyways, maybe to make up for owning me so hard first week, Beijing
proffered the olive branch in the form of musical theater. First, I auditioned for a production of a hybrid Hamlet, to be performed both in Chinese and English, infused with dance and music, and I got a callback! BUT OH SNAP, too bad the callback was the same night I had
tickets to see a touring production of Kiss Me Kate at the Beijing
Exhibition Center!

I had thought my beloved roommates would want to revel in this
experience with me, because who in their right mind would turn down
the opportunity to see Kiss Me Kate in CHINA?!?! Apparently everybody,
and I wound up going to see it accompanied by my three TRUE friends, Me, Myself, and I. But oh well, that just meant more musical for ME,
haha!

Turns out no one in China was all that interested either, because only
about 150 people showed up to pepper the seats of this massive
theater. Again, your loss WORLD, because my nosebleed seats got
upgraded to FRONT ROW!!! Victory is so sweet.

The production itself was not too shabby, but the real joy was the
AUDIENCE. We were few in numbers but we had a lot of heart. I thought
it would be all foreigners, but it was overwhelmingly a Chinese
audience. And they were there to party!

There were huge Chinese subtitles projected on the sidewalls, but everyone seemed to be
focused onstage. Linguistically, it’s a huge step to be able to
understand another language when it’s performed and sung, especially
in the mid-1900’s rapid-fire banter of Kiss Me Kate. Either the people
in the audience were truly tickled, or they were eager to show they
understood the jokes, but they laughed UPROARIOUSLY all night. I was
the only one who laughed at a lot of the cultural references, but when
the woman behind me burst out laughing at a !!!!!!PUN!!!! I almost
turned around and gave her a hug.

In this seeming crowd of strangers, on the OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, I
had found my place amongst my true pun-and-theater-loving brethren.

PS. I took a lot of videos of the show on my iPod, but from previous
experience, I know a lot of you wouldn’t watch them and the quality is
like watching Blair Witch Project underwater, but if you really want
to see them, ask around at Christmas and I’ll be more than happy to
share :D

People are People

Sometimes being in China can be so unfamiliar that you kinda feel like an alien who crashlanded or like you're living in an alternate dimension. This most often occurs to me when I get really lost or try to read something. This can be a bit isolating, and also fun pretending to be an alien.

It's also strange to look and speak differently than the general population and to be treated accordingly. Even though Beijing is exploding at the seams,and foreigners are flooding in, I still get stared at on the subway, have kids point at me, get asked to take pictures, and get heckled by vendors and ignored by taxi drivers. This either makes me feel like a movie star or a loser, depending on my mood.

But other times, there are moments that make me fall in love with people here and the general human family all over again. Here are two:

1. When I got food poisoning two weeks ago, I was DONE. All I did was drink gatorade, watch Modern Family, and sleep. The worst part was my daily venture out to get food, cause I never knew when nausea or dizziness was gonna hit. I would stumble out the door to Subway(a pretty safe bet here), clutching my stomach and scoping out possible places to vomit.
Anyways, on one of these field trips, I was waiting for my sandwich and dizziness hit hard. I went to Subway's seating area and collapsed on one of the tables. I didn't really care what anyone thought, so I just put my head on the table and waited for it to pass. Lots of people were staring at me, cause I already look different and on top of that I was acting like a goonie.It might be on youku (chinese youtube), I saw one guy point a cellphone at me :(
As you can probably surmise, this was not a happy moment for me. Feeling pretty dejected, I looked over at the next table and saw a man with his family. He looked really concerned, not in a "what's-this-freak-going-to-do-to-my-children" kind of way, but just genuinely pitying me, and when he saw me look up he smiled, not in a "wow-you-hit-rock-bottom" kind of way, but in a "it'll-get-better-hang-in-there" kind of way. That smile got me through the day, and I hope I can give it to someone else someday. Human empathy rules!

2. I also had a great conversation with a student's father today. First of all, he was hilarious and explained his inside joke with his friends where he asks them if they want to do something and follows it with "Are you Morgan?". For example, "Yo! I'm going to play poker, are you Morgan?". And they say either yes or no based on whether or not their wives will let them, cause it's Morgan FREEMAN, like "sure I can play poker, I'm a FREEMAN." GENIUS!
Furthermore, he said some great things about the world, that sound a little cliche writing them down, but they really struck a chord with me, especially since we were both being very sincere in our talk. Both he and I had spent time in each other's countries, not enough to get a handle on anything really, but enough to get the lay of the land. I mentioned that I thought China and the US were very similar, despite their vast geographical distances and different history and politics. And he just spoke for awhile about "yes, you know people are people, no matter where in the world, we all have the same hearts." DANG. I loved it.


Okay, more updates soon, I gotta get back to work. Wish me luck with these crazy five year olds, no matter where in the world you are, kids still like sticking crayons up their noses :)

Ni Hao!

Hey Guys! okay, im just gonna start at the beginning.... ps sorry this is kinda long: **************************************** PART ONE: Getting Owned Given the grace of time, I’ve adopted a humorous and even affectionate attitude towards our first few weeks in China, but still WOW, we got owned. BUM BUM BUMMM.....  Kev and I arrived in Beijing together on August 29th, 2011: a day that will live in infamy. As a result of a diabolical curse placed at birth(its a long story), I’m can’t sleep sitting up. Hence, I had the privilege of witnessing every moment of our 13+ hour time-traveling-flight-into-the-FUTURE! In conjunction with the inability to vertically doze, I’m also cursed with a paralyzing fear of flying. This manifests in fun flight games like “Overreact to Small Noises,” “Guess the Terrorist,” and “Develop Superstitions that will keep you Alive.” Miraculously, we landed. No one ever joins me in applauding this feat, so I clapped alone per usual. This is when the real fun began. Because of Hurricane Irene, our flight had been delayed two hours. This was the fated domino which initiated the chain of PAIN propelling Kev and I, like newborn lambs, into the jaws of a wolf known as CHINA! I don’t really want to dwell on this, so here’s the bare bones of day 1: 4pm: Alone at the Beijing airport, cause since our flight was delayed no one is there to pick us up - buy a phone card & figure out Chinese pay phones (difficulty level 5,000) - get told to go to the hotel – commandeer 2 taxis – watch the other taxi the whole time to make sure he doesn’t drive off with Kev’s stuff – get ripped off by taxi drivers – 9pm: get dropped off at a corner – lug stuff into hotel – get rejected – call someone who talks to the hotel for us – get a room key – arrive in windowless bunker that resemble the bastard child of a prison and a mental asylum – cry like a baby – call mom and boyfriend begging to come home – mourn the eclipse of my childhood and collegiate years – 11pm: pass out 3am: wake up from jetlag and repeat the last 3 steps In the days that followed, Kevin and I, soon joined by Chris, starred in countless episodes of “True Life: I got Owned in China.” Among my favorites were Ep. 7: Trying to open a Bank Account and get a Cell Phone, Ep. 17:  Finding an Apartment and then Having Someone Else Make the Deposit Before Us, Ep. 36: Finding an Apartment But Having to Wait 5 Days until the Current Tenants were Kicked Out, Ep. 51: Running Out of Time at the Hotel and Having to Squat at Friends’ Apartment, Ep. 118: Getting Food Poisoning. We made it through though, and this stretch of time has actually given me a lot to think about. For the first two weeks, it was often a little (lot) scary. A lot of the people we encountered (especially the apartment agents) were hostile, deceptive, and took advantage of us. As we floated around, we didn’t know when we would have a safe place to live, what our job would be like, if the food we were eating was safe, and, when the food poisoning hit, I wasn’t sure what kind of medical care would be available. Furthermore, I can read or speak much Chinese, so I was navigating as an illiterate mime. China’s international prestige is shooting through the roof, but it's still very much a developing nation, with many living in poverty. Seeing beggars around the streets or in the subway is common, as well as people doing very dangerous jobs for inhumane hours and no money (painters working near really strong fumes with no protection, and construction workers with no helmets, glasses, gloves). In Guatemala, the hardest thing we did was mix cement, I could barely mix for more than 15 minutes at a time, and that was with the help of a large group. The other night I saw a man mixing cement by himself at 11pm, and when we walked back an hour later he was still there mixing.  Basically, the temporary anxieties we experienced in regards to shelter and food were nothing in comparison to the obstacles many people here encounter on a daily basis, especially the large population of migrant workers working at construction sites, restaurants, and shopping centers. Things here can be really frightening when you don’t have a steady occupation or place to live, and I have a new awareness for the (unfair) advantages that allowed us to overcome that period of uncertainty so easily, and transition into such cushy and well-paid jobs; education, and support from home. It’s even a little pathetic that I was frightened at all, as I was never in any real danger here, but I’ve just been thinking about that a lot lately. Despite our bumpy landing, things seemed to get better day by day, bringing us up to the present… ******************************************* PART TWO: Not Getting Owned As Much! My old roommate Kayla and I used to watch a reality show about addiction called Intervention where you see people at their lowest and then at the end there’s an epilogue where you see how they’re doing after treatment. This part to me was the crux of the show, just cause it was so unpredictable and you always hoped for the best while preparing for the worst. Well, after being seemingly addicted to getting owned by China, Kev, Chris, and I are happily not getting owned as much! Sorry, that was an odd segue, but I’m still a little nostalgic for Saint Joe’s and will take any opportunity I can to relive the past. But the point IS, we’ve had a lot of successes! We finally moved into an affordable duplex, 3 minutes from a subway that takes us all to work. The street outside is packed with nice restaurants, hole-in-the-wall twar stands, a bike shop!, and vendors selling just about everything (watches, DVDs, puppies, kittens, bunnies, clothes, lamps, you name it). Bumpin. It’s so nice to have a place to unpack, sleep in a bed, and shower. We set up wireless, have been cleaning things up, and went out today to get a cord needed so that Kev and Chris can slay zombies to their hearts’ content, which they’re doing right now. And Meredith Sides is arriving tonight WOOOOOO! The teaching job is also a good set-up, despite all the administrative hurdles we had to jump to get settled in. Kev and Chris are teaching at a center in Anli, and I’m off at a sweet mall in Sanlitun SOHO that has a piano keyboard for stairs. So far I’m teaching a Mommy-and-Me class on Sundays, and filling up slots for my weekday class. I was a 4 year old camp teacher all summer, so it's not too new, but still really entertaining. The kids are ADORABLE, like aggressively cute, its almost painful. I just want to lead their little peanut-headed-shrimp-bodies in fun games all day, but the goal is to teach, and their parents are intense. We try and find ways to make it fun though. I’m sure there’ll be lots of fun stories to relate all year, but so far my favorite has just been learning the kids chosen English names. There are little 5 year olds running around with names like Lion, Superman, Tricycle, and Watermelon. What beasts! I also team teach with a Chinese teacher named Kitty, about my age, who has been really nice to me and can also lay down the LAW with the kids, so it’s been really fun working with her. Basically, its been a roller coaster here, sometimes scary, sometimes exhilarating, often both. But things seem to be looking up, and the past week has been a lot of fun. And looking back, it’s makes me proud of the three of us for doing all this and staying with it. A lot of the stuff is scary just cause its standard post-grad stuff  that is challenging all my friends; letting go of college, being more independent, deciding what to do in life. It’s a little bittersweet and a bit daunting, even in a place as exciting and vibrant as China. But we’re doing it, and now that we’ve got our feet under us, starting to get into our work routines, and looking into fun stuff (pick-up Frisbee tomorrow, seeing a Jesuit priest do an open mic jazz night, and joining the Beijing dodgeball league, among others) I’m really optimistic to be here and very glad I came. Phew. *************************************** CONCLUSION: Thank You! Just to wrap us this small novel, I really wanted to thank all you guys back home, family and friends alike. One of the bright spots about a rough transition is that you’re reminded how many people are there to support you. Like I said, I was never in any danger here, in truth most of the “obstacles” were just the product of being tired, disoriented, and homesick. Still, I can’t thank everyone enough for all the emails and words of encouragement. Reading those, or being in your presence through memories, songs, etc, has brought a lot of happiness and peace of mind. Not to be overdramatic, but it means a lot, and now that we’re getting our stride, I hope to pay you back with lots of fun stories. Okay, I love you guys a lot, and wish everyone the best. And there’s always a spot for you here if you want to come teach English for a year!